Friday, January 15, 2010

What I've been up to

Compression fracture of my 7th vertebrae. Definitely not my fault but insurance will be a nightmare. No idea how long I'll be off work. Up to 6 weeks maybe. Ugh,

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Yep, It's that time again.

How is it possible to miss a tiny 7 week old embryo so damn much?

And another bust. Of course.

12 day lp this time. I knew it was coming but wow, I went to a dark place. It just felt meant to be and I was left shell shocked for some reason. Naive I guess.

After a few rootbeers and peanut butter M&M's (hey, I don't make the rules here, I just obey the beast), I feel a bit better. As much as having the same due date is a beautiful thought, it would have been nervewracking. I'm placating myself with the whole not wanting to be due in the heat of the summer anyway lie...sure...

The long and short if it though is that I O'd more last year than I have in 4 years of TTC and I need to consider that a victory. Not sure what's next, my RE has still given up on my and my options are once again severely limited. Maybe soy again, despite my Hashi's thyroid. Not the smartest move but that's certainly never stopped me before on this journey.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

I'm back

With something very odd to share...also, it's ok to chuckle at the pathetic chart. Pretty much no temping until ewcm appears.

So yeah, O'd on December 23rd. Crappy timing with the only BDing being on the evening of the 21st. I don't really have high expectations because of that. Except that...wait for one and only pregnancy (that ended around 9 weeks thanks to fetal bradycardia) was as a result of ovulation on December 23rd, 2007 with BDing on the 21st. I'm still kind of shocked. What weird, weird, wonderful timing. I really feel like this is some sort of sign. A little keep your chin up lesson. It of course makes me miss that little one so much but I don't know, it feels like it was a little gift. Whatever it was, I'll take it!

Saturday, November 7, 2009


CD21 with nothing at all to report. No meds = no nothing.
I'm just so meh about everything right now. I have no idea where to turn next. I'm just...meh.

Sunday, October 18, 2009


Another bust.
12 day LP.

No idea where we go from here. My RE has given up on me, I'm out of meds and...not sure now.

Sunday, October 11, 2009


My husband broke my heart a little bit today :(

I woke up at 4am with an epic migraine. It's a horrible way to be awoken. It's so confusing. I felt like I'd been shot in the brain. I stumbled to the bathroom and took the only thing that works on my migraines. Dilaudid. Morphine. I managed to get back to sleep but woke up every half hour groaning in pain. Joe slept through it all. I got up and called my parents to tell them that I wouldn't be able to make it to Grandma's for Thanksgiving dinner. Sad face here. I was throwing up by that point though so it was for the best. When Joe finally woke up and I filled him in, he said the dreaded words. "Maybe it's a pregnancy symptom." It broke my heart. I just muttered that he shouldn't get his hopes up and pulled my sleep mask on so he couldn't see my tears...He doesn't deserve this. I'm the broken one.